Fifty Shades Of Complementarianism

I was hoping that the whole Fifty Shades of Grey thing would just go away without me having to comment on something as stupid as Twilight fan-fiction that got published for a readership that is the literary equivalent of Thomas Kinkade fans. In the last couple days though Jared Wilson managed to blow this whole thing up and used Doug Wilson quotes to say something about rape fantasies proving the truth of complentarianism. Here’s a bit of the Doug Wilson quote that was used in the post:

“When we quarrel with the way the world is, we find that the world has ways of getting back at us. In other words, however we try, the sexual act cannot be made into an egalitarian pleasuring party. A man penetrates, conquers, colonizes, plants. A woman receives, surrenders, accepts. This is of course offensive to all egalitarians, and so our culture has rebelled against the concept of authority and submission in marriage. This means that we have sought to suppress the concepts of authority and submission as they relate to the marriage bed.”

Some of the more extreme critiques accused both Jared and Doug (no relation) of somehow advocating rape or suggesting that godly sexuality is not all that different from rape. I do not think that they are doing that, but I do think that Doug Wilson’s language here is bizarre. Conquers? Colonizes? Surrender? Why such militaristic images for sexuality? At it’s core this kind of image seems to regard sexuality as a conflict between two opposing forces. It also appears to imply that women shouldn’t naturally want to enjoy sex since they just have “accept” the man’s “conquest” in Wilson’s world. It doesn’t seem like a successful recipe for a healthy sex life, but then I’m not a complementarian…


Jared Wilson has now apologized for his original post.