Weekend Fun

calvinist-transformersSomething Awful did a fourpart series where they imagined the responses of important philosophers to pop-culture questions. Here is John Calvin responding to the Transformers movie question:

“My basic beliefs can be usefully thought of through the prism of the Transformers.

You see, I believe that all men are born either saved or unsaved, much like all Transformers each have a specific vehicle that they turn into when they’re done having cool fights using state of the art special effect fighting techniques. A man cannot change whether he was destined to go to hell or not, much like Optimus Prime has a truck as his other shape and he could not choose to become a shopping cart no matter how much his soul longed for it. But a man will show signs of being saved through his life, much like a Transformer will turn eventually into a car and you can say “Oh, that one turns into a Porsche” and you won’t have to wonder whether it turns into a Porsche anymore.

I think I’ve lost my point a little, but basically what I’m saying is that these are big giant robots who turn into fun cars that I can play with. I have to collect all the models and see what they will transform into. Yes, this one’s a helicopter! “

There’s also Martin Luther, Pope Benedict XVI, Charles Darwin, and host of others!